Hagakure's Load-Bearing Lode: Pick up a Pebble and Put it in a Propitious Place

[crystal_ballin]

Who: Hagakure and maybe you, dear reader
What: Hagakure is carefully placing rocks in patterns outside (and inside???) the mansion
Where: All over the grounds
When: Here and Now - 3/18 - 3/25
Warnings: Hagakure being Hagakure.

Recognizing the fickle nature of the new reality that he had been vaulted into, Hagakure has spent a great amount of effort and time over the last week in collecting particularly auspicious rocks, and he is, at this very moment, placing them in key locations all over the school grounds, so as to better anchor this reality and prevent it from slipping off into another dimension.

He's clearly struggling, in trying to move this 30-pound rock (he doesn't work out very much, okay, it's heavy, stop giving him such a hard time, dude) carefully into place over there in that spot that's in the middle of something inconvenient where you were trying to do a thing.

Is there. Is there now a smallish rock in the middle of the kitchen, with a note on it that says "Load-bearing rock, do not move"?

He's probably not crazy enough to actually be gluing rocks... no, no, he's definitely crazy enough to be gluing a rock there. In the shower.

Comments

[crystal_ballin]

"NANOBOTS GO OFFLINE. NO WAY TO STOP THEM. PROGRAMMING IS FRIED. THEY EAT EVERY ANIMAL, PLANT, AND HUMAN ALIVE AND TURN THEM INTO STRAWBERRY TOFU. YOU, ME, EVERYONE."

Imagine a boot stomping on a human face, forever. The boot is made out of strawberry tofu. Also the face is strawberry tofu. Really, everything is just strawberry tofu. Forever.

[iamtheeggman]

"I'M GOING TO COUNT TO TEN, AND THEN I'M GOING TO START PLUCKING DREADLOCKS. ONE... TWO... THREE..."

:P This is amazing.

[cool_skeleton_95]

Panic may or may not be setting in.

"SAKE? I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANY! UM! I COULD! MAKE SOME TEA! YES! I'LL DO THAT!" And so he does. This, at least smells and appears very normal, so it's probably also very safe.

[crystal_ballin]

"How can I trust your tea, dude, when your spaghetti was so awful?"

It was awful. You think you're great but you're not. Hagakure is here to tell you about all of your personal failings. It's his gift.

[crystal_ballin]

It's too late, you've broken him. He's just a sobbing, blubbering mess. He paws at the air feebly but ultimately can't do anything of use. Just giant Hagakure tears.

[cool_skeleton_95]

"NOW, NOW, THERE'S NO NEED TO BE RUDE JUST BECAUSE I PUT TOO MUCH LOVE INTO THE MIX! HAVE SOME TEA, HUMAN!"

[iamtheeggman]

"FOUR... FIVE... SIX..."

[garmentgoddess]

"Get out of there!" She started to pry up one of the rocks, which was giving ever so slightly.

[crystal_ballin]

Love or burning, take your pick, Papyrus.

Hagakure reached over and sipped the proffered tea from the ground.

It was. Palatable.

"This one doesn't make me want to die, dude," said Hagakure.

High praise, indeed.

[crystal_ballin]

"Woah, who died and made you queen of the kitchen?" Hagakure asked sarcastically. "It's a free kitchen; you can't make me do anything I don't want to, dude."

He added extra super-glue to the rock he was currently gluing down, mostly out of spite.

[crystal_ballin]

"I... I DON'T HAVE ANY SOLVENT... DUDE," sobbed Hagakure. "I DON'T KNOW... WHERE TO GET ANY..."

[cool_skeleton_95]

"EXCELLENT! YOU'LL FEEL BETTER IN NO TIME!" Papyrus has learned to look on the bright side of everything.

[iamtheeggman]

"THEN GET A CHISEL, YOU IDIOT!!!"

[garmentgoddess]

A little bit more...

"It's common sense! You don't glue rocks to the floor, ya bonehead!"

[crystal_ballin]

"You know, your bad attitude and your name calling isn't helping me want to do what you tell me to do, dude," said the model of responsible behavior who was gluing rocks to every available surface.

[crystal_ballin]

"You're sure you don't have any sake or beer in addition to the tea? Skeleton-beer?" Like what the skeletons drink.

[crystal_ballin]

"D-do you... do you h-have one?"

[cool_skeleton_95]

"YOU DON'T SEEM THE APPROPRIATE AGE FOR SUCH LIQUIDS, HUMAN!"

[iamtheeggman]

Congratulations, Hagakure. You were now being dragged back to Eggman's room.

[crystal_ballin]

Hagakure is being dragged back to your room, making soft whimpers and baby tears are streaming down on his face. He's just going to keep doing that until you reach your final destination.

[crystal_ballin]

"Dude I'm like 23." It was true. He was. "Where I'm from, 20's legal. I can drink and smoke all I want."

He's very cool.

[iamtheeggman]

Eggman unceremoniously let go of Hagakure when they reached his room, covered head to toe in stones glued to whatever surfaces the palm-tree-haired man could find.

"Now GET TO WORK."

[cool_skeleton_95]

"WELL, DESPITE THAT, YOU'VE HAD A LARGE SCARE! TEA WILL SUFFICE!"

[garmentgoddess]

She pried one up. "Take your rocks out of here!"

[crystal_ballin]

"Do you... have the chisel... dude," mumbled the sad excuse for a human being as he limply tried to pull a rock up off of the floor and utterly failed.