Jock Hocks a Flock of Boxed Stock

[flamejock]

Who: Jock, Jock's Socks, Jock's Jorts, Jock's Clocks, Jock's Crocks, Jock's Frocks, and Jock's Locks. And you.
What: Jock has found many things through the use of his very good nose. He shares them with you.
Where: Just outside the main entrance to Le Maison de Smash.
When: Noon to Four pm, Monday through Friday afternoon of this week (yes, this one; March 21-25)
Warnings: Jorts. Too many rhymes.

Jock had spent a large portion of the last month in being very helpful. Extremely helpful. He had gone to great lengths to uncover vast treasures of supplies for everyone. Aside from the occasional hunting foray -- really, he had the benefit of pre-cooking dinner, such a good helper was he -- he also used his exceptional smelling agent to track down boxes of supplies hidden about the mansion. And, having found them, and stockpiled them for several weeks, has decided that it is time to give them away to any who may need them.

Jock has, for any interested parties, boxes of: Socks (in men's and women's fashions), Jorts (all sizes, all cuts), Clocks (mostly character themed), Crocks (stoneware, not the shoes or swimmable lizards), Frocks (assorted, suitable for women of any age), and Locks (pad- and combination- both).

He has a sign up that reads: "FREE STUFF JUST TALK WITH ME TO GET SOME FREE STUFF -- IF YOU HAVE BALLS TO TRADE IN YOU CAN GET EXTRA FREE STUFF."

He's wearing a pair of the jorts, so you know that he believes deeply in his free stuff.

Comments

[rivalappeared]

Well. That certainly was Jock.

In some jorts.

Green's gaze drifted to the contents of the boxes that he could see without rifling through them. Were those... dresses? No, they were frocks

"Uh. What's up... ?"

[flamejock]

Yup. Jorts.

"Oh, hi, Green! Look at all of this stuff I found. It's probably really useful. Do you want some? You can have some stuff. I'll let you have some."

Please, take some of Jock's stuff, Green. You probably need some jorts.

[rivalappeared]

Green narrowed his eyes for a moment, but then shrugged and approached anyhow. A closer inspection confirmed, yes, there were also women's garments in there. Were they Blue's size? Well... not all of them. Come to mention it, not all of the men's clothes were Jock's size either. This was the strangest, most successful bout of clothing foraging he had ever seen... or, possibly the only.

"Where the hell did you get all this?"

[flamejock]

"I found it," came the enigmatic answer. "I used my nose to find useful things, and look at all of the useful things I found."

Very useful, indeed.

"All over the place. There's weird boxes in rooms and things."

[rivalappeared]

The trainer crinkled his nose as he lifted a solo sock covered in a sparkly star pattern from one of the boxes. Oh god. Who could these have belonged to? The previous residents of the mansion?

"Uhm. No, I mean, it is useful. I just hope the previous owners don't come looking for their things." Or maybe they should, considering Green would rather not think about where the previous owners could have gone before they all got there.

[flamejock]

"Well, I found it so it's mine now, and I'm giving it away. They shouldn't have left it just lying around if they didn't want me to dig it up out of the ground or find it in dusty old rooms."

BURIED TREASURES, GREEN. SO MANY BURIED TREASURES.

"Do you like that sock? You can have it."

[rivalappeared]

Green let the sock fall back into the box.

"It's cool, I think I'm good on socks. But where did you dig stuff out of the ground from? That's all you found under there?"

Just clothes right? And no... bones... ? Right?!

[cool_skeleton_95]

Nevermind the excited screaming. Well, maybe? It's getting closer....and finally in your face as Papyrus races up.

"I'VE NEVER LAID EYES ON SUCH A PRECIOUS PILE OF PRECURED PUZZLE LOCKS BEFORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!!"

[flamejock]

"Wow!" exclaimed Jock. "Wow, are you made out of bones? Wow!"

He's amazed. He's so amazed. He's. He's moving up close to you. He's right next to you. He's standing next to you. This very buff man wearing jorts is right next to you.

He's. He's licking your face.

[cool_skeleton_95]

Oh, dear.

"NYEH! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, HUMAN?!" Some new kind of kissing, probably. Regardless, Papyrus jumps back a few feet.

[flamejock]

"I needed to taste you to make sure you tasted like bones," responded Jock, as he stepped closer to the skeleman.

"You do. You taste like bones. Don't worry, it's okay. I'm really an Arcanine. I'm allowed to lick you."

See, Papyrus, that makes it okay.

[cool_skeleton_95]

"YOU SAY THAT AS IF I'M SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT IT MEANS! NOT THAT I DON'T, MIND YOU! BUT, THAT ISN'T IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW! MORE IMPORTANT IS THIS! I'VE GOTTEN THE FEELING THAT YOU MAY INTEND TO ATTEMPT TO MAKE A SNACK OUT OF MY BODY, AM I CORRECT?"

[flamejock]

"What, no, that would be really rude," said Jock. "My mom trained me better than to attack people just because they taste good. I mean, almost everybody tastes good. I'd be eating everybody if I did that."

Carnivore, Papyrus. He's a hardcore carnivore.

[yournewcaptain]

Marine had seen the sign offering free stuff. Crikey, FREE STUFF? She wanted the stuff! And she had rubbish mechanical experiments sitting around! Win/win, she thought!

With a knapsack over her shoulder, she approached the ... um... dog-man? She wasn't sure...

"G'day, ya bloke. I 'eard you got free stuff yer 'anding out!"

[flamejock]

"Wow, I'm not a block, I'm a pokemon, uh... small furry girl who isn't a pokemon but is probably something else," responded Jock. "But yeah I have free stuff. You need some jorts? I've got lots of jorts."

Boxes of jorts. Scads of jorts. Jorts on jorts on jorts. Jorts as far as the eye can see.

[yournewcaptain]

"Uhm... what're 'jorts?'" Marine asked cautiously. "They sound explosive. I'm not gonna 'and over any o' these fine spare parts for anything already barbied, awroight?" She tugged on the strap of her knapsack and pointed to it over her shoulder.

"These are some prime parts, too! Worth a bunch. Whatever they are, 'jorts' 'ad better be worth the exchange, mate."

[flamejock]

"I'm wearing the jorts," said Jock. "They're jean shorts. Shorts made out of jeans. They don't explode."

Although, to be frank, Jock's ass looked pretty dynamite in his own pair.

"What's a barbie?"

[yournewcaptain]

Marine raised an eyebrow and gocked at him for a moment.

"Juh-- jean shorts? What... I can't ev... A barbie's a barbecue, ya goon!"

Who didn't know what a barbie was? If this guy had really been hiding under a rock that long, maybe she didn't want whatever those 'jorts' things were after all...

[flamejock]

Geeze, Marine, maybe if you didn't use a bunch of slang from your made-up island nation regular people like Jock, a man who is actually a large furry dog that breathes fire, could understand you.

"Oh then I guess I'm a barbie," he replied enigmatically.

[will_be_god]

Cyrus looked over the box of clocks. "...These are set to all different times," he observed, "and none of them correct." After tossing through them, he picked them up one by one and wound them to show the closest estimable time. "We must show greater respect for our surroundings."

[flamejock]

"Maybe they're from places where the time is different from here," said Jock as the guy changed the time on his fourth or fifth timepiece. "Like other worlds like where we came from or maybe there are timezones here that nobody taught us about yet."

This might sound like something Hagakure would say, except that these are totally valid points.

[will_be_god]

"That would require this place to somehow..." He fumbled for a word, a strange thing from the usually loquacious orator. "...know our home regions and somehow select random watches for disappearance."

[flamejock]

"Well, why can't it know that stuff? I mean, who knows what this place does or knows or is really like. I found boxes of old clocks and crocks and socks scattered all over the place. Who knows what that means about this place."

It means someone loves pointless rhyming is what it means.

[will_be_god]

"I believe it partially embodies chaos. There are several parts of it that reminds me of a more stable version of that shadowy world..."

As he thought back to his months in the Distortion World, Cyrus couldn't suppress a shiver.

[flamejock]

"Um, okay," said the pokemon man who really didn't know anything about that. "Anyway, you want some clocks? You can have three of them."