Hagakure's Load-Bearing Lode: Pick up a Pebble and Put it in a Propitious Place

[crystal_ballin]

Who: Hagakure and maybe you, dear reader
What: Hagakure is carefully placing rocks in patterns outside (and inside???) the mansion
Where: All over the grounds
When: Here and Now - 3/18 - 3/25
Warnings: Hagakure being Hagakure.

Recognizing the fickle nature of the new reality that he had been vaulted into, Hagakure has spent a great amount of effort and time over the last week in collecting particularly auspicious rocks, and he is, at this very moment, placing them in key locations all over the school grounds, so as to better anchor this reality and prevent it from slipping off into another dimension.

He's clearly struggling, in trying to move this 30-pound rock (he doesn't work out very much, okay, it's heavy, stop giving him such a hard time, dude) carefully into place over there in that spot that's in the middle of something inconvenient where you were trying to do a thing.

Is there. Is there now a smallish rock in the middle of the kitchen, with a note on it that says "Load-bearing rock, do not move"?

He's probably not crazy enough to actually be gluing rocks... no, no, he's definitely crazy enough to be gluing a rock there. In the shower.

Comments

[idonthateyou]

Vivian had noticed, but were it not for the note? She'd have accepted it as normal.

Honestly, she still is accepting it as normal - but she's almost trying to find the rocks he's been leaving scattered across the mansion, as if it were a game versus a crisis-averting tactic on Hagakure's part.

It isn't long before she walks up behind him in his struggle, smiling.

"Hello!!"

[crystal_ballin]

Hagakure's first thought -- 'nice rack.'

Hagakure's second thought -- 'maybe she can carry all of these rocks for me.'

"Hey, dude," he said, straining as he did so. "You want to help carry this rock for me?"

[idonthateyou]

Incredible, Hagakure. Just incredible.

"You need help?" Nice! She was allowed to play the game, it seemed like. Vivian walks over to the rock and crouches down, sticking her nails into the ground beneath it before picking it up with embarrassing-for-him ease. "I've got it."

[lovely_wind]

Whatever could this be? Some kind of modern art installation?

"It's rather... daring, I think." Flurrie ponders the rock in the kitchen, a thoughtful hand to her chin.

[crystal_ballin]

Welcome to the Hagakure Train, where every stop is at somewhere you didn't know was even a place you could go to, let alone want to go to, but you're stuck going there anyway, choo-choo.

"Wow, dude, you're like, strong. Are you a cryptid or alien being? A robot? An alien robot? A woman from an ancient race of alien robots whose continent sunk beneath the ocean millenia ago and so you are forced to live underground, beneath the ocean?"

Should have stopped while you were ahead, son.

[crystal_ballin]

"It's not daring, it's foundational to keeping the local ley-lines in balance, to prevent us from tumbling off into some other plane of reality, dude," came a sudden voice from behind a cabinet where the only thing you could easily see was a shock of shocking locks bobbing up and down.

[idonthateyou]

"Uhm.......... Maybe?

"I'm human, last I checked."

[crystal_ballin]

"Maybe, huh?" said Hagakure, taking the path of least sanity. "Were you found on the doorstep of an orphanage or monastery? Do you get strange signals beamed directly into your head? Did your parents disappear in a mysterious accident, while trying to save your life when you were only five years old, entrusting a secret item to you in the process? Did you grow up in a cave under the sea?"

perfect.

[idonthateyou]

"I was made in a lab!"

[garmentgoddess]

A rock in the middle of the kitchen. "Hey!" Rene shouted from the doorway, apron tucked over her arm. "Rocks don't go in the kitchen! People can trip!"

[lovely_wind]

Flurrie's eyes darted around the room, but all she could see was a giant, brown bush. Was that another one of this artist's pieces?

"Dahling, I do believe the foyer would be a much more appropriate place for your displays... wherever you are."

[cool_skeleton_95]

Papyrus, being the helpful sort he is, can't help but to notice all the trouble Hagakure's having with that heavy rock!

"GREETINGS, HUMAN! PERHAPS THE GREAT PAPYRUS COULD ASSIST YOU IN MOVING SUCH A LARGE ROCK TODAY!"

Re: perfect.

[crystal_ballin]

Hagakure gasped. "DUDE," he yelped. "YOU'RE A CLONE?!?!?!?!"

[crystal_ballin]

"No, dude, it's keeping the house anchored into this reality. There aren't any geomantically-aligned areas in the foyer, that's just crazy."

Crazy, Flurrie. Crazy.

[crystal_ballin]

"That's why there's a sign on it, dude, so people see it and don't fall."

It's very super obvious, Rene. Get with the program.

[crystal_ballin]

"Oh sure, dude, thanks, let me just," and then he turns around and actually looks to see who is talking with him.

[crystal_ballin]

"AAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," he screams. "YOU'RE A G-G-G-G-GHOST."

[cool_skeleton_95]

"NYEH-HEH-HEH!" Papyrus laughs hard at that one.

"I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! THE MOST HANDSOME SKELETON IN THE UNDERGROUND! I'VE NO RELATION TO THE BLOOK FAMILY!" Because ghosts are a thing there too, yo.

[crystal_ballin]

Hagakure doesn't know what a 'Blook' is. He just knows what ghosts are. And you, sir, are clearly a skeleton ghost.

He's crumbled into a pile of terrible dreadlocks and bad ideas on the ground, sobbing in terror on the ground.

"Dude, please don't kill me, dude, don't take my spirit to the underworld, dude, please don't, dude, please, I'll give you anything you want, dude."

[cool_skeleton_95]

Papyrus gasps in horror.

"I WOULD NEVER TRY TO KILL A HUMAN!!!!"

[crystal_ballin]

Hagakure has crawled over to your ankles and goes to grasp them but then realizes that they're just bones and he stops trying to grasp them and just bows down in front of you, in the most formal bow possible, "Thank you, dude, thank you so much for not killing me, dude, what do you want me to do for you, dude, I'll do anything, dude, please, dude, thank you."

Hagakure is terrible.

[cool_skeleton_95]

Papyrus enjoys the attention, but, doesn't enjoy how ill gained it is.

"A-AM I REALLY THAT FRIGHTENING? SURELY NOT! I'M NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE!" He huffs a bit.

"LISTEN, HUMAN, I TRULY MEAN YOU NO HARM! YOU MUST CALM YOURSELF!"

[iamtheeggman]

Hagakure had found some... unorthodox places to leave his stones. Unfortunately, one of those stones happened to be infringing on the personal space of someone you really didn't want to infringe upon.

"YOU!!!" Eggman shouted when he finally tracked Hagakure down. "GET YOUR ROCKS OUT OF MY ROOM!!!"

[lovely_wind]

Crazy incomprehensible, you mean.

"I'm afraid I don't quite follow." That's a polite way of saying I have no idea what the hell you just said.

[crystal_ballin]

"I'm reinforcing the local leylines with auspicious rocks so that this mansion doesn't slip off into another dimension, like the last dimension we were in, dude," Hagaure responded sagely.