Hagakure's Load-Bearing Lode: Pick up a Pebble and Put it in a Propitious Place

[crystal_ballin]

Who: Hagakure and maybe you, dear reader
What: Hagakure is carefully placing rocks in patterns outside (and inside???) the mansion
Where: All over the grounds
When: Here and Now - 3/18 - 3/25
Warnings: Hagakure being Hagakure.

Recognizing the fickle nature of the new reality that he had been vaulted into, Hagakure has spent a great amount of effort and time over the last week in collecting particularly auspicious rocks, and he is, at this very moment, placing them in key locations all over the school grounds, so as to better anchor this reality and prevent it from slipping off into another dimension.

He's clearly struggling, in trying to move this 30-pound rock (he doesn't work out very much, okay, it's heavy, stop giving him such a hard time, dude) carefully into place over there in that spot that's in the middle of something inconvenient where you were trying to do a thing.

Is there. Is there now a smallish rock in the middle of the kitchen, with a note on it that says "Load-bearing rock, do not move"?

He's probably not crazy enough to actually be gluing rocks... no, no, he's definitely crazy enough to be gluing a rock there. In the shower.

Comments

[crystal_ballin]

"Oh sure, dude, thanks, let me just," and then he turns around and actually looks to see who is talking with him.

[crystal_ballin]

"AAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE," he screams. "YOU'RE A G-G-G-G-GHOST."

[cool_skeleton_95]

"NYEH-HEH-HEH!" Papyrus laughs hard at that one.

"I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! THE MOST HANDSOME SKELETON IN THE UNDERGROUND! I'VE NO RELATION TO THE BLOOK FAMILY!" Because ghosts are a thing there too, yo.

[crystal_ballin]

Hagakure doesn't know what a 'Blook' is. He just knows what ghosts are. And you, sir, are clearly a skeleton ghost.

He's crumbled into a pile of terrible dreadlocks and bad ideas on the ground, sobbing in terror on the ground.

"Dude, please don't kill me, dude, don't take my spirit to the underworld, dude, please don't, dude, please, I'll give you anything you want, dude."

[cool_skeleton_95]

Papyrus gasps in horror.

"I WOULD NEVER TRY TO KILL A HUMAN!!!!"

[crystal_ballin]

Hagakure has crawled over to your ankles and goes to grasp them but then realizes that they're just bones and he stops trying to grasp them and just bows down in front of you, in the most formal bow possible, "Thank you, dude, thank you so much for not killing me, dude, what do you want me to do for you, dude, I'll do anything, dude, please, dude, thank you."

Hagakure is terrible.

[cool_skeleton_95]

Papyrus enjoys the attention, but, doesn't enjoy how ill gained it is.

"A-AM I REALLY THAT FRIGHTENING? SURELY NOT! I'M NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE!" He huffs a bit.

"LISTEN, HUMAN, I TRULY MEAN YOU NO HARM! YOU MUST CALM YOURSELF!"

[crystal_ballin]

Hagakure just keeps sobbing on the floor. "I think I wet my pants a little bit, that's how scary you are."

You're horrifying, Papyrus. My glory, what a terrible spectyre you are.

[cool_skeleton_95]

"BUT I'M NOT! REALLY! LET ME PROVE IT TO YOU!" No, Hagakure, don't let him.

[crystal_ballin]

He's just gently sobbing on a pile on the ground at your feet. He couldn't stop you if he tried, unless he actually tried, because then he might be able to stop you, but he's not about to do that.

[cool_skeleton_95]

"JUST WATCH!" With that, Papyrus busies himself preparing something. Within minutes he's holding a hot plate of freshly made spaghetti out to Hagakure.

"LOOK, HUMAN! WOULD AN EVIL BEING PREPARE A DELICIOUS PLATE OF SPAGHETTI JUST FOR YOU? I THINK NOT!"

[crystal_ballin]

Hagakure looks up at the spaghetti. "Will I die if I eat it, dude?" he asks. "Once I taste it, will I be cursed to never leave the underworld? Will I fall asleep for two decades and wake up to find that I'm all old and wrinkly and everybody I know is old and wrinkly?" Yeah because 40 is basically the same was mostly-dead, Hagakure.

[cool_skeleton_95]

"OF COURSE NOT! IT WILL ONLY MAKE YOU CRY TEARS OF JOY FROM HOW DELICIOUS IT IS!"

[crystal_ballin]

"You promise, dude? You promise you aren't trying to hurt me or trap me or kill me? You promise that if I eat your pasta I won't die? It's human-safe pasta, dude?"

He super suspicious about this whole ordeal.

[cool_skeleton_95]

"I SWEAR! PAPYRUS IS THE GREATEST SPAGGHETTIOR IN ALL OF THE UNDERGROUND!"

[crystal_ballin]

Hagakure reached over to taste the spaghetti. Hagakure put a tiny bite into his mouth.

Hagakure started coughing violently and retching on the floor.

[cool_skeleton_95]

"OH NO! I MADE IT TOO EXQUISITELY!"

I'm terrible.

[crystal_ballin]

"I'm dying, dude, dying," coughed out the manchild on the floor, between sobs. "Give me some sake, and let me speak a little."

:P This is amazing.

[cool_skeleton_95]

Panic may or may not be setting in.

"SAKE? I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANY! UM! I COULD! MAKE SOME TEA! YES! I'LL DO THAT!" And so he does. This, at least smells and appears very normal, so it's probably also very safe.

[crystal_ballin]

"How can I trust your tea, dude, when your spaghetti was so awful?"

It was awful. You think you're great but you're not. Hagakure is here to tell you about all of your personal failings. It's his gift.

[cool_skeleton_95]

"NOW, NOW, THERE'S NO NEED TO BE RUDE JUST BECAUSE I PUT TOO MUCH LOVE INTO THE MIX! HAVE SOME TEA, HUMAN!"

[crystal_ballin]

Love or burning, take your pick, Papyrus.

Hagakure reached over and sipped the proffered tea from the ground.

It was. Palatable.

"This one doesn't make me want to die, dude," said Hagakure.

High praise, indeed.

[cool_skeleton_95]

"EXCELLENT! YOU'LL FEEL BETTER IN NO TIME!" Papyrus has learned to look on the bright side of everything.

[crystal_ballin]

"You're sure you don't have any sake or beer in addition to the tea? Skeleton-beer?" Like what the skeletons drink.

[cool_skeleton_95]

"YOU DON'T SEEM THE APPROPRIATE AGE FOR SUCH LIQUIDS, HUMAN!"